We’ve spent our lives slithering around in the muddy maze of our minds. So hypnotised are we by the lure of constant thinking that we are now comatose to how disconnected we feel. Living only in our heads cuts us off from our bodies and our joie de vivre (not to mention the rest of the world).
Experiencing your joie de vivre depends entirely on having your body and your mind working in harmony. When they are re-united as one you feel balanced and aligned, relaxed, grounded and sure.
Currently, your joie de vivre doesn’t stand a chance. You deny yourself the energy of aliveness and joy by paying constant attention to the negative self-talk in your head. With every judgement, criticism and complaint, you kill stone dead whatever intrinsic joy wanted to bubble up in you. Your mind and body don’t line up. Over time, this lack of alignment between thinking and feeling builds an insurmountable emotional wall between you and your happiness.
All you need is insight into how you’re doing this to yourself, and how to choose differently. When you choose to get to know your own body, you can work with it to build trust in yourself:
“To feel powerful I go to a certain place in my body every time I experience self-doubt”. (S.W., client).
Aha moments provide clarity on how to move forward. They afford giant leaps in self-awareness by bringing together mind and heart, reason and instinct, being and doing:
“My Aha moments were a turning point, the point of inner clarity when I suddenly know how to proceed and why. They are the moments when the being and doing come together” (F.P., client).
The powerful questions asked by coaches can expose our mind-body link. In the next case, fear showed up as a fear of change. The quote highlights the role of breathing to soften and release the pain-body:
“A question about my back pain which made me think about its cause/origin in an emotional rather than physical way. I linked it to my breath and shallowness of breath with change; I have felt muscles soften and the pain ease as I breathe into them” (L. A., client).
Body-mind integration happens when the client is being encouraged to take a step back from identifying with bodily feelings or mental thoughts to simply witness them. When they are observed objectively, we are looking at them. We’re not looking through their eyes so to speak, not looking as them. Now we are in control of them, they no longer “have” us. We are not ‘subject’ to our thoughts and feelings. They have become objects in our awareness that we can dispassionately observe. They have gone from the forefront of our mind to the background, placed outside of us to be simply regarded. Now, instead of allowing them to take us over, they simply wash over us.
It brings relief to know that you can choose to let your body-mind control you, or not:
“A feeling of freedom in my body and mind. A feeling of not being controlled, but rather being able to control, or not, if I choose. A relief” (C.G., client)
When the mind and body are no longer at war, the result is deep peace:
“I am feeling peace. My whole body feels calm…almost floaty. A sense of ease…the struggle is over”. (S.W., client).
Without struggle, the ego that made us feel small, separate and afraid to feel our feelings gives way to higher connection. Identifying as merely a body or an ego mind or a bunch of repressed emotions is transcended as we experience the integration of all of who we are:
“The moment of insight sparked off in my heart then became a general feeling, an enveloping sensation. My spirit feels like it is expanding very far beyond my body. My mind runs very fast and sharp”. (F.L., client)
Being reconnected with all of who we are is the meaning of transformation. It is what returns our joie de livre:
“Warmth and tingliness in my chest region, around my heart. Simultaneous peace and excitement.” (K.G., client)
Practices for Mind-Body Integration
Close your eyes, take a few deep, calming breaths and just relax, let go.
Notice any thought or feeling that arises and then let it pass. Don’t attach to the thought, don’t disappear into it but simply allow it to pass, like a fluffy cloud passing over a clear blue sky.
Breathe into your body and feel any tension. Do not interpret any pain or tension. Simply allow it to arise and note any wisdom it has to share with you. Trust that your body knows what to do.